This girl is more easily done than said...
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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