I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
