hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
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