Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I feel like abortions should bother me more
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
These tits shall not be calmed
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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