There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Randomize
