I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
