marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
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