I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
