i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
