You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
