I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Randomize
