Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Randomize
