dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
