I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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