I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
i think i just lost a toe
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
