is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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