i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Randomize