She said her name was "party"
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
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