there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
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