he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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