I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Randomize