I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
We need to feng shui this bitch.
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