you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Randomize
