Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
