dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
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