he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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