she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
