I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
