I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
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