champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
