You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
