i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
