My hair reeks of homosexuality.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Randomize