halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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