I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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