Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
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