I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
