she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
