And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
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