hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
