he looks like a really good dad on facebook
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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