She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Randomize
