he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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