Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
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