We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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