We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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