I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
be right there i have to get my cape
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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