i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
