the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
