'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I think my moral compass just broke
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
