It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize