it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Boobs speak an international language.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Randomize
