so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Randomize
