'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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