I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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