Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Randomize
