Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
