you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
We talked him into tasing himself.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
