Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
