Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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