I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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