I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
